Wet Willie

The Swamp Road Chronicles^®

"Wet Willie"

Dear Editor,

Here's what happened to me. My friend Erin and her brother Aaron, (I know, weird, huh?) decided to walk the full length of Swamp Road one night. We had been to a bonfire/wiener roast at a friend's house on Palmer Road. Of course, some ghost stories were told and Swamp Road Sally was talked about quite a bit.

We felt like having a little fun, so why not check out Swamp Road? We parked at the end of Swamp Road in an old driveway between 2 large trees that stood on either side at the front of the driveway. We walked all of the way from Palmer Road to Route 40, but we never saw or heard anything at all. It was about a mile and a half of the darkest walking you can ever do. Frankly, it was pretty scary, but we kept very close together. Of course, Aaron acted all macho and said he would protect us if anything happened.

We turned around and started back, fairly discouraged at that point. It did not look like we would have any experiences to tell our friends about. "Sally must have taken the night off," said Aaron, we all laughed. We laughed too soon.

Let me say that I have heard many stories of things that have happened to people on Swamp Road; people have been helped, scared, protected, guided, pinched, pushed, chased, and even had their hair pulled. But, I am probably the only one who has an experience like mine. I got a "wet willie". I know, that sounds absurd, doesn't it? But what I felt was a wet something thrust into my right ear. It was cold, wet and slimy. I guess it wasn't technically a 'wet willie' because it didn't feel like a finger, but more like a cold, wet tongue! It was horrible! I wiped the dampness away from my ear with my hand, but then my hand stank! It smelled like week-old road kill, I nearly vomited.

You should have heard the way I yelled, and heard the way I gagged. My stomach was heaving and you should have seen how I jumped up and down. I am still nauseated when I think about it, and it's been 7 years already.

Aaron wrapped his arms around me and we hurried back to the car as fast as we could go. I used half of a container of Handi-Wipes on my ear and about 4 ounces of hand sanitizer too. My ear continued to stink for 3 days.

Needless to say, I will never go back onto Swamp Road for any reason.

Holly Jean Water 4-4-23

P.S. I married Aaron 5 years ago. Now that I think about it, Swamp Road Sally sort of drove me into his arms that night. Hmmm. I don't know if I should thank her or not. I guess I'll wait a few years and see. (Just kidding, honey.)

As submitted by Holly Jean Water 4-4-23 Etna, Ohio

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