The
Swamp Road Chronicles®
"Sally Is Mean!"
Dear
Swamp Road,
I have read
everything you have posted on this site and I have finally reached my limit; I
can't take it anymore!
People say Sally
helped them, and others say she even saved their lives; B.S.! I have had a
personal, up-close meeting with her and she has ruined my life. I'm going to
tell you some things here that would get me in trouble if I told you my real
name, so I using a false name and I'm using a library computer so the cops
can't trace this.
Last December me and my husband had no money. We have no kids, but I like
to get my mom a little something for Christmas and Ike has 3 kids by
ex-girlfriends. We needed to make some money. I had a part-time job at the Duke
gas station over in Pataskala but they expected me to be on time, no matter
what, so that didn't last long. I ask you, how can you expect a woman to go to
work when she has been up all night fighting with her husband?
I called off
work ONE TIME so I could go out drinking with my husband's ex and they wrote me
up for it.
Anyway, Ike and
me was watching TV one night and they had a story
about how people were stealing Cadillac converters off cars and making
thousands of dollars. Ike looked at me and smiled. We had a way to make money!
The show told us all we needed to know and where to take them after we cut them
off. We had a business of our own!
Ike needed a
thing to cut off the 'verters as he called them. He
didn't have one, but he said he knew where he could get one. I saw cops at a
neighbor's house the next day. We started out in Kirkersville and it was easy
as pie. I kept watch while Ike cut the 'verter off a
brand-new Jeep. It was up off the ground, so he could get his belly up under
the Jeep without much trouble. Ike likes his beer. He's a Bud Light man, all
the way. He said we could get $300 for that thing.
We were going
to have a good Christmas after all. I may be sentimental, but I believe in
sharing the Christmas spirit and doing like Jesus did and give presents and
such to everybody. I always get my mom a fifth of Crown Royal and my husband 4
cartons of Camels. They really appreciate it, too.
Next, we went
out on Swamp Road; it is super dark there, which was good for us. There are a
few houses at both ends of the road, but none in the middle where the swamp
was. We spotted a Ford F-350 in a driveway, perfect!
The driveway
was rutted and so the center of the driveway rose up and Ike couldn't get up
under the truck well enough to work. He had brought a "Quick-Lift"
jack and used it to raise the truck several inches so he could work.
You would think
that the red-neck who lived there would be courteous enough to level out his
driveway, wouldn't you?
Ike got busy
cutting off that 'verter as I kept watch. Things
seemed to be going good when I saw someone crossing the lawn toward the truck.
I hissed at Ike and said, "Somebody's coming!" I guess he didn't hear
me. Ike told me later that she was Swamp Road Sally. I didn't know, I just
thought it was some nosey neighbor woman. She walked right up to that truck,
bent down and looked right into Ike's eyes. He let out a scream like a 5th-grade
girl. A six foot 340 pound 5th-grade girl. He was so scared he tried
to get away from her and kicked out the jack that was holding the truck up. The
truck fell on him, pinning him to the ground. The porch light of the house came
on and I could see men rushing about inside. I hated to do it, but I jumped
into our Kia and got out of there.
Ike called me
from the Licking County Jail the next morning and told me to bail him out. I
had no money, so, he stayed in jail. I guess the Judge wanted to make an
example out of him so he gave him 8 years. Of course, by the time he gets out I
will be re-married. I really loved him, but I don't like being alone, and Slim
treats me real good.
So, you can see
why I hate that Swamp Road Sally girl. She's the reason I lost my precious Ike
that I loved so well.
And, it is her
fault for me having the poorest Christmas of my life and couldn't give presents
like Jesus did.
Anonymously
submitted 5-31-23
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